Do lupus make me mean or do the medications

My family say I'am mean but I don't think I'am mean they just don't understand how I feel sometime I just want to be alone. I love my family and my bay he never went no were 7 years and we still going hard I have 3 girl friends the over friends I had never come to see me I guess you find out who your real friends is when you get sick or need something. I just start thing about my life and I guess the over side of me come out sometime the mean one come out but I will like to tell my family and my real friends I'am sorry.