I know god hear me

This past month this lupus be act up I was in the hospital and in so much pain I call on god and told him I can't take it no more can he take my pain away I did not mean it but sometime I get tired of the pain it hurt so bad I could not wash up cook for my self.....I just want my life back

Lupus awareness

Do lupus make me mean or do the medications

My family say I'am mean but I don't think I'am mean they just don't understand how I feel sometime I just want to be alone. I love my family and my bay he never went no were 7 years and we still going hard I have 3 girl friends the over friends I had never come to see me I guess you find out who your real friends is when you get sick or need something. I just start thing about my life and I guess the over side of me come out sometime the mean one come out but I will like to tell my family and my real friends I'am sorry.

I love my mom

I love my mom so much...I don't know what I will do with out her she all ways there for me and help me out when I need her 

Wow

I have not been on here in a long time but my lupus sister Sasha was talking about a blog that we should do to get more lupus awareness out there and let people know how lupus effect us. My life been hard because of lupus but I try sometime not to let the pain get to me but lately I been in so much pain into I just want to cry sometime I just stay in my apartment by my self my family say I'am mean but they don't understand how I feel and how much pain I be in I can't walk that good no more I can't do my hair no more it hurt cause I love doing hair I want to school for hair and sometime I ask god why me what did I do so bad to have lupus but I love my lupus sister that I'am in the support group with and I love my online lupus sister and brother I don't know what I would have done with out them they understand how I feel. I'am going to try my best to wight everyday on here but good night it is 2am I should be sleep 🙏💜💜💜💜💜🙏

Thank God!!!!!

God is good becaues a year ago I was in and out the hospital. Iam get better now it been hard but I'am a fight this pacemake and lupus will not stop me at all. My family say I'am mean but I'am not they just dont understand what I'am going thou sometime I feel so sick into I dont want to get out of bed I just dont say noting they just dont now how I feel I just want my life back it hard fight this lupus I need my own apartment so bad dont like live here I dont want nobody to feel bad becoues I dont want to live with them but I got to go this damn lupus stop my life I will have been in my own apartment but I cant work right now I'am not going to say never because you never now what god can do but I got money come in from social security so thats good. I dont now why sometime I dont like my family but I be fight it, it so hard god help me why do I feel this way I just go in my room and dont talk to nobody thery ask me why I'am in my room and I say becoues I just need to be by myself  sometime god for gave me I dont know why I feel like this. God help me get my own apartment just to get away from them maybe of I get away I will feel better about them but I love my family they is there for me I just mad with the world right now. Thank you god.

Iam a fight

Hi my name is Kassonah Smallwood and on July 4,2010 I find out that I had lupus it been hard for me I been in and out the hospital for a year. I did not now I was that sick but I kno I was sick when they told me that I had lupus I thou I was going to died and I said to my self do god love me what did I do to you god to get this I want to gave up but I did not I'am still fight I want to cry sometime but I real own cry two time one time when I got a pacemake and when I find out that I had lupus.When you sick you find out who your real friends is. Sometime I hurt but I dont say noting becoues I dont like whan everbody look at n me and make me feel bad about my self and then ther make me cry. I feel like I'am all by my self in the world I just need somebody to huge me and say Iam here for you and I love you. My hair come out and I wear a lot of wigs I dont like the way I look sometime.My gandma say bad things about me like she say I'am going to died she is so mean to me I keep ask my mother to take me away from here one day she going to come here and I'am going to run away from this family and never come back again god I need your help because I'am real ready to go away made of I died everbody will be happy.